#1 initial stats: 6’2”, soccer build, Eastern European
I have a date tomorrow at a very nice restaurant. This date is not a dinner date, but rather a “let’s see if I like you enough to buy you dinner” happy hour date. Personally, I think it’s brilliant for men. Sure, I’d love a sponsored meal, but what if we can’t stand each other? Granted, you could pull a It Happened One Night and irritate me so much I fall in love, but you’re no Clark Gable. The Happy Hour Drink is a cheap, efficient way to determine all sorts of things including but not limited to:
- how flexible is their evening work schedule
- how do they dress at work (which opens a whole other can of worms)
- what is their drink of choice
- how drastically does 1 drink affect them
- how do they treat the server
I could go on and on. The point is, you can get all sorts of information from a 30 minute / $30 rendez-vous. #1 already has several points going for him being that after we met at a bar, he actually TELEPHONED me the next day. No text messages or any of that cop-out crap, he actually called. And he was walking his dog when he did it. Fuck yeah, dogs. I’m personally a cat person, but pets indicate some level of reliability, care, and stability. (I actually got a cat because I was tired of people telling me to sit still in the “place in the world” sense, so I needed something to make me be a bit more responsible and not so “yeah, Europe sounds awesome next week!” My cat, Larry, makes me go all lolcat and totally single-at-40 crazy, so I’ll avoid bringing him up.)
I’ll be sure to provide an update on #1 after the date.
#2 initial stats: gorgeous, stupid
Alright, in all fairness, I was never going to speak to #2 ever again after the first time he spoke. The kid walked up to me as I was waiting for a bus and said something to the effect of, “I saw you walking down the street and just had to say hi because you’re absolutely beautiful.” Charming, right? After several sentences, it was clear speaking was not his strength. He might be a stunning work of God, but we weren’t going to be discussing nanotechnology anytime soon. Let me tell you what changed my mind. My girls and I were watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and commented on the fact that Matthew Mc’s character takes home Kate Hudson from the bar in like 3 minutes flat. I was all, “OH COME ON, WHEN DOES THAT HAPPEN THAT FAST? AT LEAST BUMP AND GRIND FOR 10 MINUTES.” And my girl Babs looks at me and says, “I don’t know, I did that this past Friday.” After some basic details, things sounded familiar. His name is what? He works where? Is this perchance his business card that I still have in my purse?
And indeed, it was. The same night she had taken this seemingly innocent stranger home, he had been texting me. Oh the stars, how you align to my delight! We were instantly atwitter with excitement about playing a trick on him. So I immediately texted him the area we were going to that night, and so did Babs. Unfortunately, our con didn’t pan out as he said he was staying in. But trust me, #2, we’ll get you. Just a note for my readers: I won’t take seconds, but that doesn’t mean I won’t push them around the plate for a bit of fun.
