Anonymous asked: I'm 21 and I'd figured by now I'd at least have some knowledge of the dating world. But after my first romantic relationship ended badly, I'm feeling very negative about dating/relationships. If a guy doesn't amaze me by date 1, I don't give him a second chance for fear of leading him on, and I base most of my decisions on physical attraction instead of compatibility. I like assholes and can't break the cycle. What do I do?
You do have knowledge. Look at how self-aware you are. You’ve recognized your issue, found its root, and are addressing it. Darling, for 21, that’s pretty damned good.
And let’s be clear, you don’t LIKE assholes. You like a challenge. You like feeling powerful enough to change someone’s behavior. You like an accomplishment. So change the challenge and make your own habits the targeted accomplishment. You’re aware of it, so you’re capable of it.
To break the cycle, stop dating and hooking up. Just stop for awhile. Find challenges that grow who you are as a person, not challenges who don’t return your calls. You’re clearly smarter than that.
