Be Bold: eye contact
The last time you went to the store, did you make eye contact with the clerk when you said thank you? Think about it. After they rang up your toilet paper and your boxed wine and your it’s-not-delivery pizza, did you look them in the eye when you said thanks?
This weekend, keep your phone in your pocket and look people in the eye when you speak to them. Look at the clerk, look at the bus driver, look at that hottie across the bar for more than a fleeting second and revel in the uncomfortableness. Really soak up that, “but they’re staring into my soul!” feeling, because that’s what life is supposed to be.
Hold eye contact like it’s a dare, because it is.
Make eye contact when you say thank you and mean it.
Make eye contact when you say hello and be present.
Make eye contact when you hold out a piece of paper with your number on it and say, “if you’re interested.”
Make eye contact and smile when you do it. Life is short, but we don’t have to be.
4:10 pm • 11 October 2013 • 140 notes
Anonymous asked: My little (but big for me) Bold Move for this week: not texting a guy that is very obviously giving the Slow Fade. Tough because we hung out a lot and I like him as a person, but hey, we've all been on either end of the Slow Fade.
4:03 pm • 11 October 2013 • 19 notes
modern day romance
Tiff and 104 on gchat:
T: so are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend?
Tiff to me in person:
T: so are you guys boyfriend and girlfriend?
Me and 104 later that night:
104, blushing: so, you’re probably my girlfriend, right?
Me, grinning: probably.
DTRing was the boldest thing I’ve done in awhile.
I’m someone’s girlfriend, y’all.
What a month.
8:11 pm • 10 October 2013 • 114 notes
Anonymous asked: How did you and this new guy from LA connect so well? What makes him or this relationship different from others in the past? I guess I'm asking how you know when something is different in a good way, if that makes any sense.
I am cerulean. I am saturated and vibrant, deep and blue. But my color can change when you need it to. Around some people, I am navy, dark and steady. I am an ocean to carry you, and a night sky to cradle you. Around others, light as the sky, with wispy clouds of barely white, a blue like a smile. I am a million shades of blue for everyone I know. But when I’m on my bike, when I’m with my best friend, when I’m on the phone with my Dad, I’m cerulean. I like fading along the spectrum, I like those shades of who I am, but when the waves settle, when the clouds clear, I am cerulean.
We chameleon into other colors around new people to build a bond, to show commonality and shared ground, to appear cooler, smarter, more interesting, and brighter, friendships and ties can rest on those laurels. Bonds can be forged. And you’ll show glimmers, you’ll show streaks of your color, and with any luck, your color will shine through more often than some makeshift swirl. You will find complementary colors and you’ll be your brightest self. But some people will make you want to be a different color forever, something else. They will want you to be a darker, sexier oil, or a quieter, more palatable pastel. And the effort that will go into becoming a shade that is not your own will weather you, it will age you, and it can hurt like hell.
You mix in a little black to make your text message more mysterious. You mix in a little blue to appear cool when he asks if you’re serious. You mix in these colors trying to find the perfect shade of response to what you think they want. You ask your friends, “maybe a little darker? Maybe a little brighter? Maybe this and maybe that?” and they always say, “maybe, but make sure you remember to fade back.”
So what makes this relationship different than the ones in the past? With him, I say what comes to mind because I’m not worried if it’s right or if it’s time. With him, I curl up close because there’s space for me and the space he made is mine. I wish I could say what it was, or why it’s different, but all I can say is that when I am with him, I am saturated and blue, deep and vibrant. I am unequivocally and without effort the only color I ever really want to be. With him, I am cerulean.
5:18 pm • 9 October 2013 • 139 notes
bold moves across the internet
Looking for BMO inspiration? Check out all these great submissions.
And remember to submit your stories at Bold Moves October so I’m not constantly spamming people’s dashes who don’t care.
ambamhotdam asked you: You are a fantastic human being, Kelton. I am so glad to know you even if it’s just through combinations of letters on a screen.
lilithfaire asked you: I read your blog and its the only thing that convinces me that its worth it to even try. That going to bars and talking to boys won’t just be another awkward conversation about the noise and a night alone at home in bed.
myspaceshipleavesat10 asked you: My most recent Bold Move: adopting a dog on my birthday a few days ago. This is officially the boldest endeavor of my life.
changeisathing asked you: Yesterday, I ran a half marathon. Before finding this blog I would never have even considered that that was a thing I could do. THANK YOU for inspiring me.
kaetea19 asked you: My bold move is putting myself completely out of my comfort zone. I’m finally getting involved with 2 different business prospects. They are both things I’m passionate about and have been wanting to be involved with, but kept holding myself back because “I won’t be successful” and “I’m shy” and “I’m not good at networking and talking to new people.” I’ve had 8 phone calls with “strangers” in the last week and have a couple meetings set up for the next week. Apparently, I can do those things I thought I couldn’t. I couldn’t be happier and feel so empowered! Thanks for your blog and your words and for doing Bold Moves October to give me the push I needed. :)
littlebittoo asked you: My bold move is not texting him. My bold move is not texting him. My bold move is not texting him. I keep telling myself that. But it seems like such a small bold move! But I still haven’t texted him. And it feels good.
20thu asked you: I cut off all of my hair, traditional female stereotypes be damned. My mother said, “I do not like your hair,” but I feel lighter spiritually and actually. #BMO
Anonymous asked you: my bold move is to trust that my partner wants to be with me instead of being paralyzed by the insecurity that she’ll get up and leave at any moment.
Anonymous asked you: My big Bold Move for ‘12 was telling the only man I’ve ever loved that I did, indeed, love him. Telling him was terrifying because it risked the friendship we already had - but he was worth it. That turned into an exhausting on again/off again. Now, a year almost exactly since I told him, he’s turned me down again. I guess my first ‘13 Bold Move will be to let him go, no matter how much not having him in my life scares me. I’ll let him back in when I don’t need him so bad. I deserve better.
Anonymous asked you: My bold move was making a tinder account. I’ve always been hesitant and skeptical of online dating. At first it was just a nice confidence boost but last night I went on a date with one of my “matches” and it went really well (:
Anonymous asked you: BMO: Went out downtown with this relatively douchey guy. He made the mistake of leaving me alone with his 6’8 Greek God of a friend. After a battle of ‘who can make the most awkward face,’ and lots of witty quips, douchey guy said it was time to go home. To make sure I’d see Greek God again, I (queue Bold Move) got his snap chat, sent a sarcastic selfie saying “Good to meet you…I guess” & he followed it up with “Got your snap chat…but no # :(” Well, I fixed that. Been talking nonstop since.
Anonymous asked you: I’m usually a shy person at heart and take months to be fully comfortable around new people. Unfortunately this is not fully compatible with job interviews and as such, I haven’t been very successful. My bold move was to be the first to say hi and to offer to shake hands (something that terrifies me) when introduced to staff members. Before I left, the boss said I would be on his list of top applicants. Fingers crossed!
Anonymous asked you: for a long time now, a casual hookup has messed around with my emotions. he sweet talked me to a place where i felt comfortable and thought something more could come of it, and now he pretty much disappeared. my bold move is realizing that i deserve better and moving on from this guy who i’ve spent WAY too much time stressing over. i know what i want, and now i’m ready to put on a pair of heels, go out, and maybe even meet someone new!
Anonymous asked you: My bold move was booked back in September…I’m going to Barcelona for a week this month to meet up with a guy who has been in Israel since July. We’re really great friends who started something in May and were forced to press pause when he left. Maybe nothing will be established and maybe it’ll be awkward and awful….but what better way than to throw ourselves into a foreign country for a week together? I’ll always regret the things I don’t do.
Anonymous asked you: My bold move is to make my self take a choreography based pole dance class every week this month on top of my usual fitness based pole classes. When I was 11 I had a musical theatre teacher tell the whole class I couldn’t dance, I haven’t since. 10 years later I’m getting serious enough about pole that I want to perform and I’m not letting myself stop because someone told me I couldn’t.
Anonymous asked you: My bold move is to seek help with my depression and start taking control over my life instead of letting the tide sweep me wherever it wants to.
Anonymous asked you: BMO Day 1 : I wore an outfit I would normally be afraid to , talked to new people in class. Small steps, but I’m working on it! By the way I love love love your blog
Anonymous asked you: I have been struggling with symptoms of depression lately. When I was 16 (freshman in college) I fell into a deep depression because of the death of a close relative and the weight of college. I’m starting to experience the same symptoms again, but reading your pep talk made me realize that it is what I want it to be. I can seek help. I can pull out of this, and I will pull out of this. My life is what I want it to be, and whatever I do is on my shoulders and my shoulders alone. Thank you.
Anonymous asked you: Bold Moves October = Taking the LSAT and stepping up to start and lead a new student organization on campus. It isn’t much but its a start. You’re an inspiration.
And then two random questions…
Anonymous asked you: Just curious… How did you do your hair when you rode your bike to work and showered there? Wasn’t it a mess? Did you wash it there and then dried it? Also, how did you carry all your extra clothes and towel and etc? Did you ride with a huge backpack?
I ride with an embarrassing backpack. And then I wash and dry my hair at work.
Anonymous asked you: This is kinda unrelated, but what’s the deal with you and sweat shorts? I was going through his blog and came across a question suggesting he and you date and his response made me curious. ( Sorry if it’s too prying 😥 )
He’s one of the only people who will tell me when I’m being dramatic. For this, he is a great friend and a terrible nuisance. May his gchat always be green and our friendship always be irreverent and fun.
Plus, I made out with his brother.
1:53 pm • 9 October 2013 • 18 notes
Anonymous asked: My bold move is to realize that I have the power to swim against the tide. I have the power to do what I want with my life, and what I accomplish, or don't, is solely my responsibility. I am bold, beautiful and brilliant and I have the power to change my life.
Hey Mom, your words are inspiring others, too.
Bold, brilliant, and beautiful equals dangerous.
1:11 pm • 9 October 2013 • 17 notes
Anonymous asked: Ive always been shy, never bold. Ive always felt inadequate and undeserving of love. Ive always been chubby and quiet. Over the past year I've lost 30 lbs, graduated from law school, got a job, and moved to a new city. Im the best version of myself that Ive ever been. And that version is awesome. So my bold move is making sure everyone knows it.
1:06 pm • 9 October 2013 • 19 notes