messily asked: To your readers: If you want to be a lawyer (god help you), your undergrad degree and classes do not matter the slightest bit. In fact, if you think you want to be a lawyer, you should explore everything else that interests you as much as possible and only go to law school if your greatest passion still lies there after all that exploration.
This made me giggle.
5:05 pm • 8 January 2014 • 22 notes
a-milecloser asked: Hi! My name's Jimin. I'm a sophomore in college and right now I'm studying computer engineering, but have been having thoughts of switching to English. I really have no idea which way I should go, and I was wondering what made you choose English over anything else? Especially with the argument that you could just study english on the side as a hobby (ie; read lots of books, write in your free time, etc). whereas (some) engineering classes offer you skills you can't necessarily learn on your own?
Hi Jimin, welcome! I did not study English. I majored in Journalism on the Advertising track and minored in Business. Given that, I have no real useful skills except knowing how to manage people. I would say major in computer engineering because it’s useful and it will get you a job, and minor in English because it sounds like you might love it.
The best advice I ever got in college was this: “Major in whatever gets you a job, but take as many weird classes as you can outside of that. Because your degree only matters for the two years after you graduate, but how interesting you are matters forever.”*
So I took History of Country Music, Archeology of Egypt, Science Vs. Religion, History of the New Testament As Taught by an Atheist, Sports Marketing, and a slew of other classes that had nothing to do with my major and have everything to do with the things I reference when I’m drunk.
*Edit: this is really only true if you’re working in fields where you’re not entirely sure what people do like PR, Marketing, Advertising… if you’re trying to be a doctor or a lawyer, your degree will likely matter forever. Unless you’re on Suits. Which you’re not. But God, what I would give to be in that fictional office with those fictional men.
4:42 pm • 8 January 2014 • 17 notes
Anonymous asked: In May I wrote to you about having found a kitten. You answered very kindly, but then deleted the answer (whch is perfectly ok). He grew happy and became the loveliest, sweetest, craziest, most interesting being. He was hit by a car last night and buried this morning. He was only nine months old, and very, very loved. I feel I might drown in my own sorrow.
And you will for awhile.
Yesterday, I actually called the shelters around where Al went missing in July to renew his “Lost Kitty” notice. Sometimes, only death can close the wounds that hope keeps open.
I’m so sad to hear about your guy. Bless your broken heart for taking in a darling who needed a home. If you ever need to write a heart-gushing email about how much it hurts, please know my inbox is receptive and empathetic. Really. Send me all the pics and the stories and the “no one gets it” because I do. And it’s gut-wrenching.
Hugs. From so many of us.
4:21 pm • 7 January 2014 • 30 notes
Anonymous asked: So I sit here. You write some pretty dense lyrics. Metaphors about drowning, but rising through. But I ask you to cut through the simile, the metaphors, and the hypocatastasis (I mean I had to look it up). Why'd you break up? Who did you react? You're pushing through because you're strong, but how long did it take before you pushed through? You're awesome, keep writing, but write this post in simple terms.
This question was sent to me on December 22, anonymously. And it’s been bothering me. Or, maybe, lingering. Either way, it hasn’t left me. And I understand what you’re asking.
I don’t think you’re really asking for a breakdown of my breakup. I think you’re asking for a little humanity from me… which is astounding because it feels like all I do is pour my emotions on the screen like lyrical vomit.
When I talk about strength, I am not talking about invincibility. You want to know how I reacted to being dumped? I reacted like most people: I gathered my things, I walked out the door, and I waited until I was around the corner to start crying and call my dad. I cried to my dad. Then I cried to several friends. Then I cried the whole bike ride home. At home, I wanted to throw something and shatter it against the wall but it turns out I like my possessions so I kept picking things up and being like, “no, I like this.” I screamed into a pillow and it wasn’t satisfying and then I started laughing about it. I put on Britney Spears and danced around in lingerie and then burst into tears when the Pandora station played Rihanna’s “Stay” next. But having your heart broken doesn’t mean you can’t be happy or brave or take risks or cry yourself to sleep or flirt with strangers or check your phone for his name after a great night on the town.
Why we broke up, where we are now, the play-by-play… those are mine. And they’ll remain mine outside of cryptic pieces about my current emotional state. But let me assure you, the night he broke up with me, I did in fact go to the grocery store and start crying in the aisle past the bread. But you know what else I did besides cry everywhere like I was leaking? I sent out emails and text messages to basically anyone who knew me in Los Angeles saying some variation of, “I just got dumped and I need a friend. What are you doing this weekend?”
So that Saturday and Sunday, I went on a 45 mile bike ride, out to lunch, to a pub crawl, out to brunch, ice skating, out to dinner, and out to drinks. My friends and my acquaintances (who are now friends) were more than happy to help… and it’s because I asked them to. When I flew home to Idaho, it was the first time in three years I didn’t take anti-anxiety medication to fly - I was so proud of myself. I also cried on the plane because I felt like an idiot - all I wanted to do was tell him I’d done it without meds. I laughed playing dominos with my parents and giggled watching bad movies. And then I had to excuse myself from dinner because I was too sad to keep my composure at the table.
I wouldn’t write pieces about being strong if being strong were easy, if I didn’t need to hear those words myself. One pep talk doesn’t get you through a season. You need one every game, every half-time, every time-out. You need rallying cries and pleas and Hail Marys and god help us, and you need them all the time.
I don’t write in simple terms because life isn’t simple. It’s messy and awesome and harrowing and weird and beautiful. And somewhere in that mess is probably why we broke up… but somewhere in that mess is why we got together in the first place. So who knows and who cares and godspeed and good luck. This blog isn’t a case study - it’s my life.
3:46 pm • 5 January 2014 • 136 notes
In terms of resolutions, this was the closest I came. I wrote this list of what I wanted on October 2, 2012… the things I wanted for 2013. Let’s see how close I came.
- to write a spec script: I didn’t do this. But I wrote a book. So…pass.
- to be published by a magazine I love: let’s go ahead and call this Thought Catalog because that’s how it felt. But I really should start pitching. I really should work up the courage to figure out how to pitch a magazine an idea. I really, really should. Soon. Sometime very soon.
- to bike 50 miles straight: the longest I went was 87 miles. Biking 50 miles is such a regular thing to me now. If you practice something, you really will get better.
- to owe $0.00 on my credit card: nailed it! And then stopped nailing it. Then nailed it again. Money!
- to get back on stage: I haven’t done this yet because shhh.
- to have a standing ovation: this hasn’t happened, but your messages sometimes feel like it has.
- to have DBN published into a book: this is happening!
- to reconnect with my faith/hope: so… this did and did not happen. There have been some traumatic developments dealing with the concept of “God” as of late in my life, and while I did not reconnect with faith in the way I thought I wanted to, I reconnected with the very vague idea of “magic” in life. And for that, I am very grateful.
- to find the perfect pair of boots: I nailed this so hard.
- to feel competent and needed at my job: I got promoted, so in theory, yes.
- to be invited: I know this was vague, but what it really meant that I was too embarrassed to write on the internet is that I wished people would invite me to things more, that I would feel more included. Being a red lipstick clad, confident, heel clipping bitch-faced professional often means people don’t think to include you. And it hurts. So I worked on being more open, more kind, and more honest about when I really needed a friend. And it worked. I was often terribly embarrassed sending emails saying, “I have nothing to do this weekend, and I would love to hang out!” but eventually, after a slew of “sorry, was already headed out of town” type responses… people started inviting me on those trips to begin with. And it feels great.
- to see him again: I didn’t, but I also didn’t need to. I found the forgiveness and resolution I needed.
- to have the means: I do!
- to align my projects with my identity: I did! This is on my resume now!
- to fall madly and mutually in love: God, I did. I did so hard.
So. Write it down. Seek it out. And see what life can do. It’s time for me to write a new list.
3:06 pm • 3 January 2014 • 126 notes
If you are having feelings, find a dark place with headphones and listen to this song. It grows.
9:57 pm • 2 January 2014 • 22 notes
“Lay it all out there just once this year. I’m not saying this will work, but every time I’ve thrown caution to the wind, the wind at least did something with it.”
— Date By Numbers
4:26 pm • 31 December 2013 • 371 notes
crystalhoney asked: Hey! It's my birthday too! Happy Birthday, birthday-twin!
Nice! Tax babies! May your day be filled with glory.
1:55 pm • 31 December 2013 • 4 notes
It’s my muthafuckin’ birthday and I’ll post all the weirdly sexual Photobooth shots that I want to!
Time to tear this day down!
Things I’m doing today:
- writing the book
- writing the book
- writing the book
- writing something about resolutions
- looking good
- looking good while writing
- crying while writing
- eating while writing
- drinking while writing
Let’s do this.
12:44 pm • 31 December 2013 • 88 notes
mylittlepig asked: So I was feeling really shitty because of a guy - the usual stupidity - and then I read your blog was once again reminded that no guy (hell, no one) should affect my happiness but me, and suddenly I'm ok. Not great, but ok. Though I've told you several times before (sorry if it's getting repetitive), THANK YOU! It's not the first time, and I'm sure it's certainly not the last, but thank you for always providing that reminder that I am ok. I love you, and I hope you're doing ok yourself. Hugs<3
You know there’s something to be said for being ok, for putting one foot in front of another without needing to watch the ground.
And I’m, you know, me. Climbing the monkey bars as many times as I can before recess ends.
I couldn’t be happier that not only will tomorrow bring in an end to what was the mercury-in-retrograde of years, but I also turn 28 tomorrow! Huzzah!
28 in 2014. Even and clean. Focused and ready.
5:48 pm • 30 December 2013 • 29 notes