Anonymous asked: Hey gorgeous, are you simply having an existential crisis? If so, no worries - it happens to the best of us. Happy Sunday & nice vid...
I have an existential crisis every three months. Keeps me young and nimble.
Never settle for #1.
Start at the beginning.
datebynumbers@gmail.com.This is a personal weblog. The opinions expressed here represent my own and not those of my employer. My opinions are subject to change. I reserve the right to argue with myself later on down the line when I've learned a lesson or two.
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Date By Numbers
aintiahuman asked: getting excited for your office hours!
Here we go! Answering questions for the next few hours. So, go ahead.
Get up. Get ready. And fuck the Derby.
This is what happens when I get up at 8am and discover I’ve never used iMovie.
dating up
| me: | also, i guess i should remember that i'm almost 30 and not a little girl and it isnt that weird. |
| Lisa: | you aren't almost 30. you're barely 27. |
| me: | in fact, i am pretty much 27.5. and that's almost 30. |
| Lisa: | no you aren't. because i just turned 26.5. |
| me: | next month! |
| Lisa: | so you have 2 months |
| me: | next month i am 27.5 |
| Lisa: | technically 1 month and like 28 days. which is closer to 2 months, but i get your point |
| me: | OH OK, 27 still rounds to 30! you mathlete. |
| Lisa: | you can start telling me you're almost 30 once you turn 29 |
| me: | it all depends on how old the guy is. this is context. if i meet an undergrad this weekend, i only turned 21 like... a couple years ago. |
| Lisa: | if you start dating an undergrad |
| me: | call for help |
| Lisa: | i want a video of his dorm room |
| me: | and there's my weekend |
“
Then next time someone tells you you’re amazing, let that be all you hear. Leave the conjunctions in compliment hell where they belong. Look, I’ll always prefer medium rare steak. That doesn’t mean lobster isn’t delicious and that someone wouldn’t kill for it…it just means I want medium rare steak. We always want to be the favored one. We will always want to be the favored one even when the one across from us isn’t the one we favor.
So next time, pretend you’re a restaurant. You’re a brand new restaurant on the market. You want all the five- and four-star reviews you can get. Just get people singing your praises left and right, spreading the word to their friends, their colleagues, their family about what a classy restaurant you are. Get all the accolades and the awards and the kudos and the Yelp reviews and the covers of Bon Appetit. Do everything in your power to make yourself the restaurant you dreamed of…and then eventually, when you’re working hard and loving every minute of it, someone will walk in and say, “This is my favorite restaurant in the world,” and they’re gonna mean it.
”Anonymous asked: What is it like living with a cat? I'm considering adopting one but it will be my very first pet so I'm not sure what to expect. Do you get scratched at all? Anything I should know before adopting one? And have you raised a kitten before?
This post will combust because I doubt most of you care - but uh.. cats are like people: they have very unique personalities. I don’t get scratched because Larry doesn’t scratch people. (He does, however, have his front claws because I want him to have a defense system against raccoons and coyotes should it come to that… also because I don’t give a shit about furniture.)
I raised Larry from a kitten, which is why he’s harness trained, willingly gets in his carrier, and doesn’t attack people.
As for what it’s like to live with one? I like having a cat because I am like a cat: I disappear occasionally, I don’t like to be bothered, I take care of myself, and affection is something I only dole out when appropriate. If you’re into that, then get a cat. It’s a relationship of mutual respect, not undiscriminating loyalty.
Anonymous asked: When will you do another marathon question/answer sesh? I miss my fave advicey.
Let’s do one this weekend.
Office hours will be held on Sunday, May 5 from 12 pm ET - 2 pm ET.
Ask me anything you like.
Anonymous asked: How excited are you for Neil Gaiman's new book? (I'm super stoked!)
I already took a vacation day on the day of the book signing in Colorado because it’s going to take me HOURS just to get there.
That’s how I vacation: 10 days in Bonaire, 1 day in Denver.
