Anonymous asked: Kelton, you are my tumblr queen. And now I need your advice. I've been dating a guy for nearly 2 months, and though we became intimate quickly, we just recently had sex. Now, nearly a week after, he hasn't contacted me. I'm not an idiot, and I can read the writing on the wall. But seriously? I THOUGHT we had chemistry and got along great, but now I'm feeling... Blah. I know, I know--he's not worth my time, better suitors exist. But I liked him, and now feel used. Words of wisdom?
You don’t need words of wisdom, and you don’t need advice. What you need is a glass of wine and a solid night of bitching with your friends.
You played by the rules, you did what you were told by magazines and blogs and TV, and you fell for a guy who ding-date-ditched. That’s a pile of crap. That’s some straight up fist-shaking at the sky bullshit. And you can bet your proper-punctuating-ass that you’re gonna feel used, feel played, but you know what? Good. Get a little angry. Get a lot feisty. Get a whole truckload of proud.
I get a lot of submissions. There are 1400 unanswered questions in my ask box right now. And 28% are about some person that just disappeared off the face of the Earth. This is bullshit, and don’t any of you ever dare do this, because it’s mean and classless.
And I’ve done it before. You know why? Because I was chicken-shit. Is that a quality you want in a lover? In a friend? In a colleague? I don’t even want my rivals to be cowards because then where is the challenge?
There’s this onslaught of casual disregard, like the ease at which we can access each other has made it that much easier to discard one another. We’ve divided our days into the smallest increments of attention, making every second we spend outside propagating our own self-worth a fucking waste and it’s pathetic. People show up months, years later feeling entitled to some modicum of your time, because a modicum is all they were willing to spend to garner it. Fuck that. Fuck them. Fuck anyone who thinks that your time, your feelings, your life is something they can disregard.
Regard it. Regard their cowardice. Regard your self-worth. And feel better.
12:14 pm • 28 February 2014 • 69 notes
Anonymous asked: Help! Literally ran into my ex after years of silence. Did not know we even lived in the same new city. It was a little awkward but cordial. But now he's e-mailed me to get lunch, I imagine just as friends. Am I bitter for not being interested? Is my hesitance a sign that I am not over him? Are people capable of moving on without owing the past some small talk? Is friendship the default when the pain and romance is over? What should I say to him without sounding cold or immature?
Am I bitter for not being interested?
Is my hesitance a sign that I am not over him?
Are people capable of moving on without owing the past some small talk?
Is friendship the default when the pain and romance is over?
What should I say to him without sounding cold or immature?
My calendar is pretty tied up, but best of luck at blah blah blah! Hope you’re enjoying City We Live In. - Your Name
About a week ago, 26 emailed me saying he was in town, suggesting we meet up. I replied, “Focusing on training and deadlines right now. Have a nice stay in LA.”
Learn to say no whenever you want. It’s empowering. And it’s awesome. And then let it go.
11:16 am • 28 February 2014 • 50 notes
Anonymous asked: What do you do when the person you love says they love you more than anyone and see a possible forever with you but they need some time to be on their own? Yet continue to talk to you and hang out treating you like a GF when you know all the while they are dating and talking to other girls. But if you bring it up they get defensive and make you feel nuts for being bothered.
You know what you want, and that’s a loyal, loving, and committed relationship. Not a possible forever, not a “says they love you,” and not treating you one way and acting another.
You want to know why he gets defensive and makes you feel crazy? It’s because he doesn’t like what you’re saying. He doesn’t like that you want loyalty. He doesn’t like that you want forever. He likes dating other girls. He likes playing the field. He likes having you in his pocket where he can pull you out whenever he wants to play. Of course he’s going to call you crazy - he’s getting exactly what he wants.
So what do you do? You stand up for yourself. Maybe he’s not a bad guy, maybe he really does see a potential forever with you, but you’re not a piece clothing he can put on hold ‘til he decides if he wants you. Walk away and tell him he’s welcome to contact you when he’s ready for a serious relationship. And if he’s lucky, maybe you’ll still be available.
Until then, don’t be a doormat. Be a woman.
11:07 am • 28 February 2014 • 66 notes
Anonymous asked: do you believe in fate?
If fate exists, its only purpose is to convince the complacent to accept it and the rebellious to change it.
12:19 am • 28 February 2014 • 41 notes
Still always the look on my face. I will never get over this picture.
12:47 pm • 27 February 2014 • 30 notes
My bones may break, but I’ll never be untrue.
4:35 pm • 23 February 2014 • 11 notes
“When we describe strength we are describing so much more than stalwarts. We are describing courage, fearlessness, a secure sense of self, the ability to face adversity with poise, with dignity, with wit and wisdom. We are describing people we admire. And like rivers dry out only to flood the next year, their strength too will ebb and flow. So build yourself up with fresh pots of coffee, long walks through the woods, mud on your hands and knees, and minor chord transitions to major chords with the kind of bridges that bring you to your feet. Take time to notice that you’re sitting on the bathroom floor of a temperate office where there are likely at least two people who would walk with you down the street to get a beer at lunch, where there are people waiting at the other end of the phone to give you all the advice and encouragement you don’t want but could probably use, where a sunny Saturday by a stream with a book you read as a kid might be all it takes to remind you that bad shit happening to you doesn’t define the kind of person you are, it just gives you the chance to define yourself. Stop and realize you’re an adult sitting on a bathroom floor crying and start to laugh because of it. Stop reliving the misery and start envisioning what could be 1,300 miles and two months away. Ring the rag of hope over the seeds that remain and have the patience to let them grow.
Because you don’t stay strong; you become strong, over and over, for the rest of your life. And what sweet luck that is because everybody loves an underdog and no doubt you’ll be one again. You just gotta remember to root for yourself.”
— Kelton Wright for The Frenemy’s Feel Good February: How To Stay Strong
3:26 pm • 18 February 2014 • 534 notes