Anonymous asked: hey i'm a rising soph in college and i hate frat parties - they're messy and rude and no proper alcohol...However I can't go to bars and clubs as most of them are 21+ or pretty sketchy. So mostly I'm just stuck in my room reading a book on the weekends. How was your college life? generally any advice(including but not limited by dating) for the 3 years I still have? thanks

As the great J-Kwon once said, “Teen drinking is very bad.  Yo, but I got a fake ID though.”

I nearly transferred my first year because I hated my school, but the key to college is your crew.  I found a rag-tag bunch of ruffians to hang out with, and they’re all my friends to this day.  I wish I could say we met in class, or Student Council, or on a sports team… but we found each other through booze, drugs, and bad reputations.  

And I fucking love them to death.  

So go to the terrible parties, find your people, get a house with them, and throw your own god damned parties.  That’s how we did it, and that’s how we made those four years into lifelong friendships.

12:51 pm  •  5 May 2013  •  7 notes

Anonymous asked: What date number do you think *most* people kiss on? When do you "recommend" it?

I think if you like each other, you probably end up kissing on the first date because ohmygodIwantyourlipsonmymouthsobad.

Maybe date two.

If a guy doesn’t want to kiss me until date three, we are from vastly different worlds.   

This all said, there’s no recommendation other than feeling the person out.  Some people take time.  Some people would rather just skip dinner and make out in the park all night when they like someone.  

12:42 pm  •  5 May 2013  •  9 notes

isthatmycow asked: I don't know if this is too personal, but is it easy for you emotionally to pick up and move so often? I often find myself wishing for the horizon as well, but feel unable to leave my friends and family.

It’s very easy for me.  It’s exciting.  The difficult part is that the more places you move, the less and less you feel like anyone really knows you.  I struggle with becoming almost a caricature of myself: embodying only the most obvious qualities that people always point out (confident, sassy, outspoken, sexy.)  

And you lose friends.  You lose lots of people.  Even with Facebook and email and cell phones, you lose people.  And they only remember the caricature of you, too, making you feel even more lost on the wind.

It’s cyclical, addictive, dangerous, and as emptying as it is fulfulling.

But someone’s gotta do it. 

12:38 pm  •  5 May 2013  •  21 notes

Anonymous asked: I've been dating this guy a month. I've spent weekends at his apartment and we meet for dinner at least once a week. We text everyday all day. He acts as if I am his girlfriend but he won't commit to me yet. We have lots of future plans, I have also meet his family already. He has trust issues from some bad previous relationships, but I feel like I don't deserve the effects of this. I'm crazy about him but I have other options. I don't want to push but its not fair to me to wait around on him.

One month is a bit premature to insist on labels, but what you can talk about is a) exclusivity because of safety/health reasons and b) if he sees long term potential.  If you’re sleeping together, then the adult thing to do is discuss if you have multiple partners.  That conversation is painfully awkward, and not always honest, but it’s worth having.  You’ll get a good gauge for how he feels just by watching him answer.  

If he’s not interested in being exclusive, then there’s really no reason not to hit up one of those other options and enjoy being young and single.  

12:34 pm  •  5 May 2013  •  4 notes

Anonymous asked: Hey gorgeous, are you simply having an existential crisis? If so, no worries - it happens to the best of us. Happy Sunday & nice vid...

I have an existential crisis every three months.  Keeps me young and nimble.

12:26 pm  •  5 May 2013  •  6 notes

aintiahuman asked: getting excited for your office hours!

Here we go!  Answering questions for the next few hours.  So, go ahead.  

12:19 pm  •  5 May 2013

Get up.  Get ready.  And fuck the Derby. 

This is what happens when I get up at 8am and discover I’ve never used iMovie.

12:58 pm  •  4 May 2013  •  49 notes

2:02 pm  •  3 May 2013  •  24 notes

“

Then next time someone tells you you’re amazing, let that be all you hear. Leave the conjunctions in compliment hell where they belong. Look, I’ll always prefer medium rare steak. That doesn’t mean lobster isn’t delicious and that someone wouldn’t kill for it…it just means I want medium rare steak. We always want to be the favored one. We will always want to be the favored one even when the one across from us isn’t the one we favor.

So next time, pretend you’re a restaurant. You’re a brand new restaurant on the market. You want all the five- and four-star reviews you can get. Just get people singing your praises left and right, spreading the word to their friends, their colleagues, their family about what a classy restaurant you are. Get all the accolades and the awards and the kudos and the Yelp reviews and the covers of Bon Appetit. Do everything in your power to make yourself the restaurant you dreamed of…and then eventually, when you’re working hard and loving every minute of it, someone will walk in and say, “This is my favorite restaurant in the world,” and they’re gonna mean it.

”

— Dear DateByNumbers on CollegeCandy

5:26 pm  •  2 May 2013  •  91 notes

Anonymous asked: What is it like living with a cat? I'm considering adopting one but it will be my very first pet so I'm not sure what to expect. Do you get scratched at all? Anything I should know before adopting one? And have you raised a kitten before?

This post will combust because I doubt most of you care - but uh.. cats are like people: they have very unique personalities.  I don’t get scratched because Larry doesn’t scratch people.  (He does, however, have his front claws because I want him to have a defense system against raccoons and coyotes should it come to that… also because I don’t give a shit about furniture.)  

I raised Larry from a kitten, which is why he’s harness trained, willingly gets in his carrier, and doesn’t attack people.  

As for what it’s like to live with one?  I like having a cat because I am like a cat: I disappear occasionally, I don’t like to be bothered, I take care of myself, and affection is something I only dole out when appropriate.  If you’re into that, then get a cat.  It’s a relationship of mutual respect, not undiscriminating loyalty.  

11:16 am  •  2 May 2013  •  32 notes