Anonymous said: How do you get over jealousy issues even when you know deep down that you have nothing to be jealous about, and you have a lot to offer, etc.?
There’s a woman I went to college with who, according to the Internet, leads a pretty spectacular life. I never knew her well enough to comment on her character, but damn does her life look good. The past year has just been a slew of neon sunsets highlighting her ridiculous body while she relaxes with her handsome fiance in various worldly locations after obtaining yet another degree. I’m jealous. Of course I’m jealous! And I’m jealous of my friend Nina’s natural way with art. I’m jealous of Bud’s ability to seemingly just bunny hop up steep climbs on her bike while I’m like, literally panting behind her. I’m jealous of siblings with great relationships. I’m jealous of the friends who post photos from around the world because 1) where did you get that much vacation time and 2) where did you get that much money. I’m jealous of girls who can pull off sleeve tattoos. I’m jealous of girls with no cellulite. I’m jealous!
But jealousy isn’t the problem, inactivity is. Jealousy and inspiration aren’t so different from one another. You see something you wish you had, and you either stew in your envy, or you go out and do something about it. When you feel envy, when things feel ‘unfair’, if you can’t muster gratitude for your situation, find the strength to turn your negative emotions into motivation. I can’t bunny hop steep climbs yet. I can’t paint well yet. I might not ever have two months of vacation a year and I’ll probably always have cellulite, but I’ll be damned if that means I’m not gonna wear short shorts like every weekend is the best vacation of my life.
You can be jealous, but you need to be realistic too about what you are jealous of. Even in my happiest Instagram moments with blonde hair shining, smile a mile wide, I’m still in debt, my brother is still sick, and my heart is still grappling with seeing my toothbrush in its special cup on my ex’s bathroom counter 47 days after we broke up. Photos have a beautiful way of hiding those things.
So be jealous, but only so you can be very, very ambitious.