Anonymous asked: I love your blog and you seem like such a fantastic person! I have non-love related question... How do you deal with having a such a big wardrobe and moving around so much? I love clothes and tend to move to wherever the next job or adventure is calling, but I'm finding hauling everything to be such a pain! Do you get rid of everything and then slowly rebuild? Do keep favourites even if they're ridiculously impractical?
I donate a lot. And I’m usually just tossing things in the back of a U-Haul. Or a suitcase. And clothes come and go. And if someone was like, “we want to move you to New Zealand, but you can only bring one bag,” then I’d throw on my favorite jeans, tee, and boots, and put Larry in his carrier because at the end of the day, that’s all I really need.
Move with whatever you can, and donate whatever you can’t.
2:56 pm • 5 May 2013 • 10 notes
Anonymous asked: I recently tested positive for chlamydia and was naturally freaking out about it, but when I told my FWB (we're friends but very, very casual), he said nothing, literally nothing, and now I'm spending all my time worried about what he's thinking and what he thinks of me. What do I do?
Take your meds and pat yourself on the back for being a kick-ass, conscientious person.
Look, people will judge you and there’s nothing you can do but fight the good fight. You did the right thing. Now it’s his turn to do the same.
2:54 pm • 5 May 2013 • 4 notes
Anonymous asked: My live-in boyfriend of a year came home in January and said we were over. Since then, he moved in with his mom and continues to text and call and see me as often as he can. When I ask him why we can't be together, he says it's because he needs to be on his own for awhile before he settles down. I tell him I can't wait forever and I need to move on with my life. He doesn't seem to want me to move on. How do you cut someone out that you love so very much and know loves you but the timing is off?
Quit him using the nicotine patch of relationships: friends, exercise, and distance.
It’s a decision, plain and simple. And it’s a shitty one. You’re going to cry, you’re going to want to relapse, you’re going to want him back. But if you want to be treated the way you should, you need to climb out of hell first.
2:45 pm • 5 May 2013 • 7 notes
Anonymous asked: I'm having a lot of trouble breaking up with a ldr boyfriend that doesn't make me happy anymore. Every time we talk, I almost lose the incentive to break it off. I want to break up with him before he comes back home because then we'll be happy again, and there's physical temptation. I keep dwelling on the old memories. Help? :[ Do I just have to suck it up and do it?
Yes, you have to just suck it up and do it. Call him with a script. Be concise, succinct, and clear. And get off the phone as quickly as possible. This isn’t a negotiation - it’s the termination of a contract.
Take a shot of whiskey, write your letter, and get one of your best friends to sit next to you to hold your hand and slap the backing-down comments out of your mouth.
2:43 pm • 5 May 2013 • 3 notes
hitchcockismyhomeboy asked: After a rocky start I'm really happy with my boyfriend, however he's friends with many girls. Some of them have become good friends of mine already, or at least we're on our way there. Others I've never met, namely his exgirlfriend (who he's in regular contact with & who I believe is still in love with him) and other girl(s) he slept with until recently. I've voiced my concerns and he's been nothing but reassuring (&believably so) but perhaps you have further advice as to how to keep my cool? I
Ah, the other girls. Few things harder to deal with in a relationship. All you can do is repeat this:
Who does he go home with? Me.
Who is his girlfriend? I am.
Who could he have chosen and didn’t? All of them.
On repeat ‘til you believe it.
2:39 pm • 5 May 2013 • 20 notes
Anonymous asked: To keep it short and sweet: I'm a twenty year old college student and I literally don't know how to make friends. I feel like the clock is ticking and I'm just wasting my youth, but am way too lost all the same.
Making friends is embarrassing. It really is. For everyone. So don’t feel discouraged. But making friends is just like dating. You gotta call people. You need to invite them to things. You need to strike up conversation. The easiest way to do it? Find common ground. The easiest way to find common ground? Go somewhere it’s already established - concerts, readings, tastings, what have you.
Also, you’re not wasting your youth. Go for a walk and shake that out of your system. Your youth, surprisingly, lasts for a long fucking time, because you decide when it’s over. Go out and do something. Now. OK?
2:34 pm • 5 May 2013 • 14 notes
vintageginger asked: I had a friends-with-benefits before he left for basic training in the fall. We agreed when he came back we would be strictly friends- I was very clear that I wasn't going back to that set-up, there was no misinterpreting me. The entire time he's been away (oct-june) he's been very flirty and when I finally asked him what he was looking for when he returns he said "nothing serious." Now Im just kinda stuck on whether or not I should even be friends with this guy or just cut my losses. thoughts?
Is he a good friend? Does he do things for you that good friends do? Is he a steady shoulder and a good listener? Is he supportive and encouraging of your dreams? Or is he just a place to blow steam and have it blown right back?
Unless he actually counts as a friend, then he’s just wasting space in your rolodex.
2:16 pm • 5 May 2013 • 5 notes
Anonymous asked: I've had feelings for this guy the entire school year and I've been getting signs that he might feel the same way. We move back home for the summer in a week and he randomly said he was going to write me a letter before we leave and somehow I agreed to write him one as well. How do I go about this? I don't know what to expect in his letter, so do I play it safe or tell him how I feel?
Oh man, there’s nothing school-age dudes shy away from more than feelings.
But is there any time more perfect to admit you like someone than when you won’t see them for three months? I mean, there probably is, but it sounds at least like the most perfect way to deal with rejection.
Tell him you think he’s fly. (Don’t say that, I’m old.) What have you got to lose other than time you could be pursuing something else?
2:14 pm • 5 May 2013 • 5 notes
Anonymous asked: I'm in grad school and living home with my parents while in school. I'm really struggling with the whole dating thing- any tips on how to meet people?
Clubs. Book clubs, bike clubs, running clubs, etc. Get on meetup.com and be prepared to meet a whole bunch of people you don’t connect with before you find some you do.
Look, meeting people is righteously difficult the older you get because most people already have people. Think of dating in the six-degrees-of-separation sense. You might not meet the love of your life at bike club, but you might meet a girl who invites you to a concert where she knows the bartender and the bartender invites you to see his band the next weekend where there’s a guy with a killer smile and an eye for you.
It’s not about meeting people to date - it’s literally just about meeting people and having the no-shame-in-my-game ability to say, “I’m on the market - do you know anyone?”
2:11 pm • 5 May 2013 • 21 notes
Anonymous asked: This new guy did not hesitate to mention things like wanting to get married and have kids and own land and so on... and then ask where I stood on those sort of things. On one hand, I appreciate that he has plans and goals and isn't just trying to get laid. On the other hand, we're both 24 and haven't even been on a real date and I feel like maybe I should take off running. Thoughts?
Ha, when I dated 103, he talked about the same stuff. I remember him asking me where I wanted to buy a house and me saying, “dude, I don’t even own a car.”
I’d relax a little. The fact that he knows that he wants these things isn’t really that weird. A lot of people want these things, but we’re taught to keep our desires to ourself for fear of “scaring people off.” And look - it’s scaring you off!
You know what should scare you off? The guy who says, “I’m not trying to get into anything serious. Life is a winding road and I’m just trying to enjoy the ride.” Alright, Kerouac. Good luck with that.
2:00 pm • 5 May 2013 • 12 notes