Anonymous asked: What do you do when the person you love says they love you more than anyone and see a possible forever with you but they need some time to be on their own? Yet continue to talk to you and hang out treating you like a GF when you know all the while they are dating and talking to other girls. But if you bring it up they get defensive and make you feel nuts for being bothered.
You know what you want, and that’s a loyal, loving, and committed relationship. Not a possible forever, not a “says they love you,” and not treating you one way and acting another.
You want to know why he gets defensive and makes you feel crazy? It’s because he doesn’t like what you’re saying. He doesn’t like that you want loyalty. He doesn’t like that you want forever. He likes dating other girls. He likes playing the field. He likes having you in his pocket where he can pull you out whenever he wants to play. Of course he’s going to call you crazy - he’s getting exactly what he wants.
So what do you do? You stand up for yourself. Maybe he’s not a bad guy, maybe he really does see a potential forever with you, but you’re not a piece clothing he can put on hold ‘til he decides if he wants you. Walk away and tell him he’s welcome to contact you when he’s ready for a serious relationship. And if he’s lucky, maybe you’ll still be available.
Until then, don’t be a doormat. Be a woman.
11:07 am • 28 February 2014 • 65 notes
Anonymous asked: do you believe in fate?
If fate exists, its only purpose is to convince the complacent to accept it and the rebellious to change it.
12:19 am • 28 February 2014 • 40 notes
Still always the look on my face. I will never get over this picture.
12:47 pm • 27 February 2014 • 30 notes
My bones may break, but I’ll never be untrue.
4:35 pm • 23 February 2014 • 10 notes
“When we describe strength we are describing so much more than stalwarts. We are describing courage, fearlessness, a secure sense of self, the ability to face adversity with poise, with dignity, with wit and wisdom. We are describing people we admire. And like rivers dry out only to flood the next year, their strength too will ebb and flow. So build yourself up with fresh pots of coffee, long walks through the woods, mud on your hands and knees, and minor chord transitions to major chords with the kind of bridges that bring you to your feet. Take time to notice that you’re sitting on the bathroom floor of a temperate office where there are likely at least two people who would walk with you down the street to get a beer at lunch, where there are people waiting at the other end of the phone to give you all the advice and encouragement you don’t want but could probably use, where a sunny Saturday by a stream with a book you read as a kid might be all it takes to remind you that bad shit happening to you doesn’t define the kind of person you are, it just gives you the chance to define yourself. Stop and realize you’re an adult sitting on a bathroom floor crying and start to laugh because of it. Stop reliving the misery and start envisioning what could be 1,300 miles and two months away. Ring the rag of hope over the seeds that remain and have the patience to let them grow.
Because you don’t stay strong; you become strong, over and over, for the rest of your life. And what sweet luck that is because everybody loves an underdog and no doubt you’ll be one again. You just gotta remember to root for yourself.”
— Kelton Wright for The Frenemy’s Feel Good February: How To Stay Strong
3:26 pm • 18 February 2014 • 528 notes
How To Stay Strong
I’ve had the question of strength on my mind for a while. How to get it, how to keep it, how to grow it.
I get my strength from plenty of sources: steamed tofu with bok choy, long shopping trips with friends, walking faster than people on the street, text messages with my mom, Mindy Kaling, laying on the couch marathoning television with my bff, crying while watching Ellen Degeneres give people in need money or cars, writing, eating Phish Food, running up the stairs, hot showers, good strong hugs, great eyeliner, Drunk In Love, etc. I’ve also been learning where not to cultivate strength: too much whiskey, too much gluttony, spending too much money on said shopping trips, gossip, staying in the house to avoid anxiety, laughing at jokes I don’t think are funny, spending time with people who make me feel bad, etc.
However, the thing that has been pushing me forth lately has been, quite simply, other women. I really find it funny I used to think I “got along better with men” and I looked at women at one big floral-scented amorphous shape: “here I am,going to steal your man.” I used to want my world to be a giant boy’s club I could be a part of. And then, of course, I realized…what I needed…was in front of me all along! *cries in front of airplane rom com style* Women give me power in myself and who I am, and they are a necessary part of my growth and strength. I love my friendships with women, I love drinking wine with friends till we spill hummus on our shirts, I love the growing community of women wanting to lift each other’s lives and breasts up. I love seeing women take power, take control, and grow confidence. These everyday-Rosie-The-Riveters have propelling me so forward lately, and I am very grateful for that. I feel like I am finding a place in the world with the winning team that’s going to take over the world.
With all that said, it’s completely appropriate to have another guest post, this time about strength, this time from one of my favorite lady bloggers on Earth: Kelton Wright from Date By Numbers. Years ago, we became Internet-Introduced because we both went on a blind date with the same man. Then, we sashayed our way our of that situation, blossomed into eternal feminine power, and grew into a mutual respect and love for each other’s work. She writes beautifully in many places, including here and here. Her first book with Thought Catalog Publishing comes out this spring. She is an inspiration to me, and man, I hope to meet her one day. Below is a piece she contributed on strength. Lately, it’s been just what I need:
Friends! I had the pleasure of writing a piece on strength for Alida over at The Frenemy. I’ve a mad girl crush on her (verging on just pure envy) for basically years now. She’s funny, witty, charming, and duh, published. I actually got her book for Christmas from my parents, and it was awesome.
Basically, I’m fangirl-ing. Go read the thing.
12:45 pm • 18 February 2014 • 528 notes
iamapinetree asked: BECAUSE OF YOU (many things have happened but this one is urgent) I have a super hot super tall super vegan super bearded super intelligent OKcupid date tonight and I'm fucking nervous. Butterflies to the max. I would say "help!" but you already have, so I think I'm just writing to you in order to distract my restless mind for 5 seconds HELP <3
There’s a hot, tall vegan out there somewhere who is sweating out butterflies because he has a date with you.
Put on some power pop. You got this date and you’re gonna rock this date.
2:12 pm • 17 February 2014 • 28 notes