better answers for shitty questions
This is just a general PSA to remember that while questions like, "so, are you seeing anyone?" are prying and distressing, people are generally asking not because they care, but because they’re terrible conversationalists and this seems like the easiest question. And as someone who has recently acquired a boyfriend, I can assure you, the questions don’t stop… they just change.
So this holiday season, be proactive and start a real conversation with some of these answers.
1. So, are you seeing someone?
- YES! I’ve been seeing Marissa Mayer all OVER the internet lately. What are your thoughts on her resistance to identifying as a feminist?
2. So, what are you studying?
- Recently I’ve begun the tracking the rate at which acquaintances on Facebook repost material from 9gag as if it’s their own, almost embodying what 9gag does itself… desperately seeking attention by hoping no one realizes they’re simply a regurgitation machine, but are we all not just cogs in the system of repetition and hope? On the spectrum of right and wrong, how punishable is plagiarism when it’s done in a sad attempt to be acknowledged?
3. When’s the wedding?
- You’re so behind the times! The Wedding was April 29, 2011. Kate actually had a baby this past year. While I agree that the British Monarchy is an outdated concept, its influence in political pop culture is still worldwide and indeed, fascinating as a spectacle. Have you considered paying more attention to current events?
4. Why’s a cutie like you still single?
- Have you ever googled Japanese anime and fallen into a dark, dark place? No? Let’s ask your husband.
5. When are we going to see grandkids?
- (start crying hysterically and leave the room)
6. What do you want to do when you graduate?
- It’s no longer a matter of want, but a matter of need, as I recognize my place within the system. I ask you, dear relative, how much of your life have you given to the system? How many of your taxes paved the road to this home? How numerous were the days before your wife became a fixture and your desk another organ to play the tunes of melancholy? Tell me, how long ‘til I too give up?
Get wild. Have some fun with it. Soon enough, the turkey will knock ‘em out, anyway.
5:04 pm • 27 November 2013 • 93 notes
“Lots of Lulu talk this week! Thank god for the New York Times. Does classism go both ways? ‘Cause boy howdy do I detest the success stories of the wealthy and their fun people-rating apps hatched at brunch and their fireworked Nights of Passion echoed across the Branson Islands and back. Isn’t it pretty objectively gross to rate Human Beings in any way? Isn’t part of dating figuring out these things about people on your own? If you’re so worried about going on a date with someone THAT YOU ALREADY WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH then you should check your local sex offender listings or REFINE YOUR SHITTY TASTE. Everything is so “best of” and “top ten” and “the worst this” and “in your 20s” can’t we all just BE for a little while? Leave some mystery? Date each other for dating’s sake? Don’t cut the exploration. Quit Yelping humanity.”
— QUIT YELPING HUMANITY YES YES ALL OF THIS (via meredithbklyn)
1:52 pm • 26 November 2013 • 35 notes
Just trying to stay awake at work at this point on cup of coffee like, 14.
COME ON, MORNING.
God, this song makes me want to spin.
6:09 am • 26 November 2013 • 4 notes
Anonymous asked: So, how are things with this new boy?
I always thought my parents were insane for meeting and marrying within three months.
But I get it now.
All I want to do is make that man happy.
12:04 am • 26 November 2013 • 82 notes
If it wasn’t for you, I’d be alone
If it wasn’t for you, I’d have to hold my own
12:08 pm • 25 November 2013 • 10 notes
Have a great weekend, everyone.
5:58 pm • 22 November 2013 • 6 notes
bold moves realized
I once wrote a thing I was sort of embarrassed about. Then I decided to see if being bold would be more fun than being embarrassed.
Why you should date a dating blogger: we literally have nothing to hide.
4:19 pm • 21 November 2013 • 28 notes
“There’s no irrationality in sadness. Don’t let anyone gaslight your broken heart. Instead, surround yourself with people who love you and respect you. We too often beat ourselves up for having emotions. Don’t squelch and temper them. Don’t stay in the air-conditioned living room of your heart. Get outside in the rain and thunder so when the sun finally comes out, you can feel it.”
— Dear DateByNumbers on CollegeCandy
3:18 pm • 21 November 2013 • 121 notes
“According to their survey, men hate when women wear beanies, floppy hats, hair bows, open-side shirts, oversize sweaters, shoulder pads, peplums, bandeau bikinis (“they just make your shoulders look like a linebacker”), bright lipstick, heavy eye makeup, fake nails, bangles, pointy-toed shoes, wedge sneakers, ultra-high heels, fold-over ankle boots (“it looks like the shoes have foreskins”), high-waisted jeans, high-waisted shorts, high-waisted skirts (“it lacks a certain degree of subtlety”), pantsuits (“you’re a woman, not a man”), drop-crotch pants (“really, any loose fitting pants,) and mullet dresses (“I just don’t get it — where’s the fucking party??? You are covering the back!”). The question is how to wear all of these things at once.”
— How to Dress So Basic Bros Leave You Alone - The Cut (via heylabodega)
8:14 pm • 20 November 2013 • 78,404 notes