girls and bikes
Growing up, I was not an athlete. There were innumerable participation ribbons in my trash. I ran track for the bus rides to other schools where maybe there existed boys who actually wanted to kiss me. I never broke a 7-minute mile even as a teenager. As an adult, I’m lucky to break 10 minutes. I pass up company kick-ball games out of sheer embarrassment of my own athletic abilities. And then, something changed in July of 2012, and it happened when I bought a bike.
6:16 pm • 14 March 2014 • 123 notes
Anonymous said: Emergency! Have you ever just kissed a guy you've gone out with a few times and who hasn't made a move on it yet? Like Bold Moves, grabbed his face and laid one on him. I've got this situation that calls for a BM 'cause I need some answers, but I don't know that I'm smooth enough to just.... kiss him....
So I was hanging out with this guy, we’d gone bar-hopping together, went to an amusement park, hung and watched TV, and the fourth time we hung out, he took me to the Griffith Observatory to go night hiking and look at the stars, i.e. the most romantic date I’d ever been on. I sang Disney songs to him, he paid for what had to be the most expensive Uber ride ever, and then he tolerated like 60 minutes of listening to stand-up comedy on my phone because I didn’t have Internet or TV. In total, the whole date was like, six hours long.
And then he went home.
Needless to say, as soon as he walked out, I yelled to the Gods of Dating, “WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!” Because why didn’t he kiss me. Pals do not spend six hours together talking about life and looking at the stars! Arguably my move should have been to just kiss him, but when I was said, “wow, it’s late,” I did not expect him to LAUNCH from the couch to the door and wave to me before walking out. I didn’t even have a chance to stand up before he left.
But, flustered and flummoxed and completely infatuated, I texted him.
"Not trying to compromise our friendship, but just a little confused how you can take me star-gazing, night-hiking, Uber across the city, listen to that terrible stand-up, and still not kiss me."
That text wasn’t smooth. If anything, it was a little bitchy. Like this wonderful guy takes me on this perfect date and is presumably just taking his time getting to know me and I’m like, “I NEED TO KNOW WHY YOU DIDN’T MAKE OUT WITH ME BECAUSE I’M DEMANDING AND IMPATIENT.”
He replied, “I’m an idiot.”
And we’ve been dating for almost six months, minor hiccups aside.
The point of this story boils down to the fact that that first move doesn’t need to be smooth or perfect or his because if you guys like each other, it’ll smooth itself out like a sheet.
So kiss the guy, because the hold-up is that he probably doesn’t think he’s smooth either.
4:30 pm • 12 March 2014 • 79 notes
Doing a bit of life cleaning… what’s your rule for getting rid of clothes? Not having worn it in a year? Not being able to make an outfit out of it? I’m having some attachment issues to more than some of my clothes.
How do you do it?
8:15 pm • 10 March 2014 • 39 notes
Anonymous said: I am on Match, and I go on dates with a lot of very successful and smart guys...but I am not attracted to most of them. But they are so much fun and we have great conversations. How do I transition a date that I'm not attracted to to a friendship...without being an asshole? Is that even possible since I met them on a dating site?
You can’t predict how someone else will take a rejection, as some people are treating it as a “thing to try” and others will think you could be the one. Also, some of them might feel exactly like you do: that you’re cool, but not really a romantic prospect. Here’s what I used to do:
1. As soon as you know you’re not romantically interested, tell them. The longer you wait, the less likely a friendship becomes.
2. Most dudes, from what I have seen in life, are not really trying to rack up chick friends. You want ‘em around? Give ‘em a reason. Things like:
"Hey I had a good time last night, but I think you’d probably hit it off with one of my friends better. We’re hitting the bars tonight if you and your friends want to meet up with us."
The thing about that invite is that if he refuses because he liked you too much, he’s probably not gonna be your friend anyway. And if he refuses because he can’t stand rejection, probably not that cool of a human. Good people roll with the punches.
I’m not saying that always worked. But you know, worth a shot.
1:04 pm • 9 March 2014 • 27 notes
Haven’t done one of these in a minute. Also haven’t worn heels in like three weeks.
4:01 pm • 7 March 2014 • 34 notes
Fortune cookie tea. Instagram @ktonic should you find photos of cats, bikes, and sunsets amusing.
11:37 pm • 6 March 2014 • 26 notes
“Do not pass up on joy because you think you owe something to misery.”
— Date by Numbers doling out gems per usual. (via runswithpoodles)
10:27 pm • 6 March 2014 • 281 notes
Anonymous said: My girlfriend broke up with me almost a year ago and I'm barely back to feeling comfortable with even considering dating other people. Any advice for someone who's been out of the scene a while and is a little weary of opening up to others?
You don’t need advice, you just needed time. You’re about to go on an adventure; being wary just means you’re not an idiot. Characters without trepidation are often the ones who get killed.
4:57 pm • 6 March 2014 • 8 notes