March 2012
7 tags
Anonymous asked: I work 12 hr days here in NYC which isn't unheard of. My girlfriend recently has been giving me shit about us not hanging out as much as we used to. She recently moved to an outer borough and after work I like to go to the gym (which is new but puts me back at home around 10). She doesn't want to come over around that time cause it's too late and she doesn't want to come over...
February 2012
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Hello! Do you have an opinion on my matter yet? I'm the one with the two countries-status worries.
3 tags
kingsleyzissou asked: I'm loving the idea of 'Bold Moves 2012'. I just thought I'd let all the attached people out there know that you don't have to be single to be 'bold'. Case in point - my wife was down because we both ended up out of town on business for Valentine's this year, which happened to be our first as a married couple. So I surprised her with a trip to Vegas and a...
3 tags
I can't today
Her: can you spell that?
Me: Z as in Zulu, A-
Her: what?
Me: Z as in Zulu, A as in-
Her: Zulu?
Me: Yes, Z as in Zulu
Her: what's a Zulu?
Me: I- I don't know-
Her: then why say Zulu?
Me: because it's the proper word to use. It's the NATO phonetic alphabet.
Her: what?
Me: Like whiskey, foxtrot, charlie, they're from the NATO phonetic alphabet, it's what the military uses.
Her: who is Charlie?
Me: What?
Her: Charlie.
Me: Oh, it's the letter C.
Her: Wouldn't cat make more sense? Since it's a C sound?
Me: C doesn't necessarily- you know what? Let's start over. Z as in Zebra.
Her: Ohh, okay, Z.
Me: ...
4 tags
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Anonymous asked: What do you think about the "Whoresquare" print ad? (Tumblr won't allow me to post a link!)
4 tags
the great american frontier
Guess who’s got a $300 voucher for Frontier Airlines! This little lady!
Caveat - I need to use it before June. So I’m planning my vacation now. Frontier is limited in that I can basically only fly west to CO, WY, MT, etc. I’m looking into doing a farm stay (farmstaysus.com) but most of them are a bit out of my price range. What’s a girl gotta do to work on a ranch for...
2 tags
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pole-dancing and self-esteem
I was invited to my very first pole-dancing class last week. A coworker asked me to join her, and a bottle of peer pressure later, I couldn’t come up with a good reason to decline.
There were seven girls in the class. We sized each other up quickly. The body types could not have been more diverse and I don’t think one girl in there didn’t look at someone else with envy....
6 tags
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any old thursday
Last night I went to a party. The party was two stories in a building in the West Village. Three dance floors, karaoke, unlimited booze for six hours, and a slew of good looking people in hip clothes. It smelled like weed and beer. My boobs, for whatever reason, looked enormous. The night was full of potential.
I saw 84 from across the room. I waved. He looked confused. I pointed at...
3 tags
Accidentally submitted anonymously thanks to the...
the-peggy-twist:
We all know I’m bold anyway but I figured others needed a little real life inspiration. Kinda defeats the Bold Moves bit by being anon.
3 tags
Anonymous asked: Hey DBN, love the blog! Here's my own Bold Moves endeavour. I broke your cardinal rule and crushed on a coworker. I've since left but during my last week I asked him if he wanted to meet up over Facebook, of all places. That turned into seeing a play, pre show cocktails, post show dinner. All out date of all dates. I was so freaking nervous cos I didn't know if he liked me. That was...
11 tags
Bold Moves 2012
How do you meet people? How do you strike up conversation? How do I make friends with my coworkers? How do I get people to notice me? How do I flirt with her? How did you get that job? How do you know if someone likes you? How do you do it?
Everyone asks the same questions. They ask their friends, their parents, blogs, podcasts, magazines, therapists, the ether, the mirror, their pets,...
2 tags
Anonymous asked: So I broke up with my ex in a less than graceful manner and the next night I hooked up with an acquaintance. Arguably not my finest hour, but now the dust has settle and the hook-up and I are still hanging out. Am I in a bad situation? I feel like I should stop seeing him but we connect in a way that I haven't with many people. It's been three months since my ex and I broke up and...
2 tags
Anonymous asked: 26 year old guy with a grown up job and his own place. 21 year old girl still working on her undergrad and living with her parents. Is there any chance, regardless of how well they click, that this isn't doomed to failure?
1 tag
annaak asked: Hey, so LOVE the blog. But I mean, you already knew that. I was just wondering how you found your first apartment when moving to the city. I am currently commuting from Long Island and feel like I make enough money to live on my own and would like to do so sooner rather than later in order to maintain a fairly good relationship with my parents. That was a run-on sentence. Don't judge me. I...
3 tags
Lent
I am not Catholic, but I have a Sicilian grandmother, so I’m “catholic”. I went to a public school in an area that was so heavily populated by Italians that my school might as well have been Catholic. And everyone, even the quiet few non-Catholics, participated in Lent.
Growing up, Lent was actually something I really looked forward to. I liked challenges, and I was too...
5 tags
you know who I'm talking about
You brought a delicious lunch to work. You’re super proud of yourself for packing it, too. This is your month of responsible spending! And eating! And adulthood! Packed lunches for all! Except not for all, because that lunch is for YOU. That sliced avocado, that layered turkey, that nineteen grain whole wheat field of dreams bread, that’s yours!
Noon time rolls around. You...
3 tags
Anonymous asked: LOVE the blog. I have a wardrobe question: where do you find those awesome long skirts you wear?? The only ones I can ever find are quite drab.
1 tag
my-city-life asked: So my girlfriend and I, at about the 5 month mark, started a food blog. We review burgers here in the city. Today she told me that for Lent she is giving up meat. Well I don't celebrate lent but, whatever, I'm cool with that. I asked how long and apparently its 46 days. Fine. She then told me that it may be indefinite if she enjoys it. To me, that is a deal breaker. Not only do I love...
merrytheknight asked: The worst romance-related problem ever and current plague of my life- "gay or European?". And unfortunately, "how old is this guy anyway?" is also a factor. Damn adorable German guy, confuzzling my gaydar.
rattlingbone asked: I love how frank and sassy you are. Utterly fantastic.
shorterexcerpts asked: Question: could you ever think of any reason you would invite a guy friend into your apartment, after all the bars have closed, to split a bottle of wine that isn't romantic/sexual?
3 tags
Anonymous asked: I just want you to know that you're my favorite blogger. I always instantly come here for my daily dose of wisdom! I was hoping you could give me some advice. I'm really interested in one of my friends and was totally prepared to make some bold moves, but I just learned that he's still hooking up with his ex of a month. Plus one of his really good friends was aggressively making...
3 tags
Anonymous asked: My bf of 4months, who I've recently realized that I'm not so attracted to and this relationship is definitely not going where I would like it to, just surprised me with a 10days trip to two countries in Europe for Easter. He has already booked everything and roughly planned what to see, etc. I am really fond of him, he is a great guy but lately feels more like a pal rather than a bf....
2 tags
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“It’s just hard not knowing where your next meal is coming from.”
– Stella on sex and the single person
Anonymous asked: I am trying to catch up on your blog/read the Q + A but OMIGOSH it's over 100 pages. My brain feels like oozey goo. But I LOVE what I have read so far. Can you just kind of catch me up with what your current dating situation is? Is there a guy? An online account? A date? Etc etc etc. Sorry I can't manage to read 200+ pages that I just discovered exist. Also, what's your best piece...
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Do your coworkers ever catch you snapping pics of yourself in the bathroom?
2 tags
Anonymous asked: I met this guy off a dating site and we have been hitting it off with good chemistry and an obvious connection. Due to me having several drinks and not wanting to drive, I broke my rule of taking things slow by sleeping over at his place on our fourth date & meetup, it was PG rated for the most part though! We hung out last night at his place again and it almost seemed semi uncomfortable and...
4 tags
sciencingsara asked: I saw your response to dealing with sexual assault. There's a super inspiring survivor Tumblr blog called Project Unbreakable if you haven't discovered it yet.
“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you...”
– Frank Crane (via pemanah)
2 tags
Anonymous asked: First, can I just say that I have a HUGE girl-crush on you? I've been reading your blog for a while, and your posts never fail to inspire me. Second, I have a question for you.. I know you're against dating co-workers, but hear me out: I think I'm in love with my coworker/good friend. However, we're still in school, so this is a part-time job thing, not a career. It's a...
2 tags
Anonymous asked: my boyfriend of 3 months is struggling with depression. we're both 20 and sophomores in college. we get along great, have tons in common, are in the same circle of friends etc. this recently all came out when he exploded after a snappy comment I made. it's not an everyday thing that he seems distant or unhappy, but he's moody & isn't doing well with his school work. anyway...
2 tags
rantingsravingsdragontamings asked: HI! I was hoping for a little advice, or maybe a pep-talk, or both. I recently broke up with my live-in boyfriend, who was a great guy, but the relationship was starting to stagnate and I realized it wasn't the right one for the long haul. Everything was pretty amicable and while I know I made the right choice, I'm not feeling super positive about it. I want to feel hopeful again. I want...
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Anonymous asked: Hi there! My question is...how do you know when you have a good guy? I need a good guy/bad guy breakdown.
3 tags
survivors
Anonymous asked: I’m inspired by your passion and how full of hope you are. Do you have any tips for survivors of sexual assault on learning to trust again? Not just men, but also yourself? Or advice generally, on recovering and finding strength in yourself or elsewhere?
Thank you for such kind words.
Learning to trust again is so unique to each situation. Guilt and blame and fear...
Anonymous asked: Bold Moves 2012. I'm way conservative when it comes to relationships (as in super religious and I'm still a virgin), but I brought up my boy putting a ring on it after dating seriously for 9 months. Turns out he needed to make sure I felt the same way. Ahhh yeahhh.