girlsack:

TEDxHouston: Brené Brown - The power of vulnerability

“You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging”

11:25 am  •  29 January 2012  •  49 notes

Anonymous asked: how many people have you had sex with? do you think that every time you have sex with a new partner sex is less special the more partners you have or is the number of partners you have and your connection with each isolated and seperate?

Sex is like wine.  

When you have your first glass, you may not like it or you may immediately love it.  You may decide to never drink anything else.  If you stick with the same bottle your whole life, there will be days you find it delicious, days you’re tired of it, days it pairs terribly with your meal, days when you’re dying for it.  

But say you choose to become a wine connoisseur… you become skilled at identifying notes, regions, vintages, you develop a preference, but that doesn’t mean that each wine isn’t as unique and amazing to you as all the wines you tried before. 

What I’m saying is that sex is awesome.  What matters is not how many partners you have, but how you handle each situation.  You throw back glass after glass of wine and all you’ll associate that sweet nectar with is a hangover, but if you sip every wine… if you take your time with it, pair it well, and enjoy its uniqueness, then each glass will be remarkable and memorable in its own way.

10:23 am  •  28 January 2012  •  23 notes

Anonymous asked: What were you like before you moved to NYC? Would you say you've changed a great deal ever since you moved to the city?

I have found so much lasting happiness in New York.  I am pursuing the things I love in an environment that supports them. I am meeting people that inspire me and motivate me every day.  New York made me want to be better, and that has translated into everything I do.  I eat healthier, I run more, I take time with my friendships, and my relationship with myself is much stronger.  

I haven’t changed so much as I’ve grown into the person I wanted to become, and I am still very much on that journey.  

4:41 pm  •  27 January 2012  •  14 notes

Anonymous asked: Can you give an outline of your running routine i.e how often do you run, what distances, outdoor only or at the gym etc., and for gods sake when do you find the time. I work a full time job and I cannot for the life of me get out of bed in the morning to run before work and at the end of the day I'm so exhausted I have to practically throw myself into the gym. I had a good routine going that I have, in the past few months, fallen off from and I'm trying to regain my momentum

I follow this schedule as closely as I can.  I also have the Run Coach Pro app so I can track my progress and my pace.  Most important to me, I have three people I can reach out to when motivation is low: the girl I’m running with in New York, the girl I’m running with in Cleveland, and an experienced marathon runner for when I need tips and advice (that’s actually 57.)  

I run at the end of the day because running is therapy for me, so when the day is over, all I want to do is pound the shit out of the pavement.  Like tonight.  If it ever stops raining.  And my hell week is over.  I want to run at least six miles before going out.  

Since I’m in the city and gyms are expensive my routes are as follows:

• Easy weekend runs are done along the East River
• Timed weekend runs are done from East River Park at Houston along the south tip of the island up to Chelsea Piers because that’s about a 10k.  Then I’ve got a nice trek back to the East Village to cool down.  
• Night runs (since I literally cannot get up before 7 am) are done in the East Village as a weave going back and forth on the avenues.. sprinting along East 3rd to Ave A, walk Ave A to East 4th, sprint East 4th to Ave B, up Ave B to East 5th, sprint East 5th to Ave A… you get it.  Strength training.  People dodging.  And it adds distance quickly.  

Motivation is the most challenging part, for sure, but I find that paying $85 for a race and $300 for the plane ticket have proved quite motivating.

4:29 pm  •  27 January 2012  •  4 notes

crispyglitter asked: I met someone in my class and started flirting with him (mainly because i was desperate). Now that he's flirting back, I've lost all interest in him (as a potential boyfriend AND just a friend). He wants to hang out with me next week and I don't. I already said I was "busy" the first time he asked. I feel really awkward about the whole situation, so is there a way to never hang out with him without being a bitch? I don't want to waste his time/lead him on anymore...

Alright, one, don’t do that.  Look at the debacle you’ve gotten yourself into.  

Two, no, there isn’t a way to handle this without being a bitch because (thank you for following me, I apologize in advance) you already were one.  

The polite thing to do at this point is to drop the boyfriend bomb into conversation.  And start taking notes.  Because you’re in class.  What class is this?  This class is so boring and your professor gives so little of a shit that you have enough time to just idly lead people on that you’ve never met before?

College, man.  Crazy.  Now don’t do that shit.  

4:06 pm  •  27 January 2012  •  7 notes

Anonymous asked: I’m writing to you because I don’t know what else to do or who else to talk to. In recent years, I have undergone the ‘ugly duckling’ transformation and, at present, as a young, attractive female, I’m used to receiving male attention. What I’m not equipped to deal with is the situation I was put in last night - my mentor of several years (a man old enough to be my grandfather) had a few too many drinks cracked on to me. I didn’t know how to deal with it and I felt repulsed and betrayed.  Similar situations have occurred over the past few weeks – for example, at work, I had a consultation with a man and his pregnant wife, and the man took the opportunity to grope me on his way out while his wife wasn’t looking. I know this sounds silly and a considerable part of the solution is “just deal with it” but I feel highly uncomfortable and it makes me want to shrivel up and hide, or cover myself up completely so I don’t receive this sort of attention. What would you do?

You do not just deal with it. What they did was reprehensible and gross.  It is unproductive and unhealthy to brush that type of behavior under the rug.  

It’s often too shocking in the moment to speak up.  Such instances of vulgarity can leave you speechless, and a part of me hopes they always do because we should never become accustomed to being treated like objects.  And trust me when I say that covering up and hiding won’t stop this sort of attention, because this isn’t just your problem, it’s our problem.  This affects women everywhere, and when we remain quiet, we teach them there is no consequence for their action.  

I strongly advise you to speak to someone who is educated in this field.  While I myself am a very vocal survivor of sexual assault, I can only offer personal opinions I’ve acquired through research and experience.  Share your story on ihollaback.org and let it enrage you rather than embarrass you.  Let that anger give you the courage to speak up, to tell them that sort of behavior is inappropriate and will not be tolerated.  Coin your phrase of defense and yell it into your mirror as practice: that is not appropriate!  do not do that again! that is not appropriate!  do not do that again!

You do not “deal with it.”  You do not shrivel.  You do not create an image of yourself based on fear.  You stand up tall, you speak up, and you become part of the community that will support you.  You’ve already made the first step by reaching out, and your courage can only serve as inspiration to other women who have dealt with the same thing.

12:11 pm  •  27 January 2012  •  22 notes

Anonymous asked: I'm a college guy and I kind of have this girl that likes me (whom I like back a lot) so we usually end up hooking up. However, she continuously holds all my bad decisions against me (past lays) when we talk about the possibility of exclusivity. How do I get her past this?

It’s hard to advise without having a little more information, but here are my educated guesses - this girl is either:

1) grossed out (but it’s unlikely she’d be jumping in the pool every time if she thought it was that dirty)

2) very jealous (but jealous girls are all about the Boyfriend Stamp)

3) worried you’ll continue acting like this or

4) is preserving her freedom with a backhanded strategy

If your gut is telling you 2 or 4, see a little less of her.  Don’t hook up next time (I know, difficult, but you asked for the advice.)  You need to be less available.  Make a power play to see if she really wants you.

Per usual, you can email me if you think more details would help.  Godspeed, my friend. 

11:31 am  •  27 January 2012  •  3 notes

Please don’t make me, please, please stop, no no - oh my god I’m holding a child, oh god, what, how do you hold this thing?  What’s he doing?  Ahhhh ah, ah earrings! Ah!  He’s chewing on me!  Ah gawd what is that noise!  Take it, take it!  Please take it!  Ahhh!  [it giggles] oh god, it’s laughing, why is it laughing?  It won’t let go of me and it’s laughing!  It’s trying to eat my hair!  Take it, please!

—-

The second baby I have ever held in my 26 years on this Earth.  My fear makes them chortle with glee.  I see you, Baby, laughing at me.  I see you.  

11:03 am  •  27 January 2012  •  24 notes

Let’s get this day started.  Here’s a little jam to get your head bopping.  Quiet… add some vocals… bring in those drums… okay, here we go.  IT’S FRIDAY.  Rain, rain, go away, because tonight I want to play.  

10:22 am  •  27 January 2012  •  5 notes

“He ain’t no cowboy… what is that fru fru shit around his neck?”

—

first email from my Mom this morning.

That “fru fru shit” she’s referring to is a neck tattoo.  In case you’re wondering. 

10:08 am  •  27 January 2012  •  6 notes